Where Did The Support Go?

Sep 24

3 min read

The more responsibility you take on, the more people expect you to have it together. You lead the team, make the decisions, hit the numbers, manage the problems, understand the market, keep up with technology, figure out what AI means for your business, and somehow know what comes next. But somewhere along the way, something happens. The support starts disappearing.

When you’re early in your career, there are usually people above you who are supposed to teach you, guide you, review your work, and help you figure things out. As you move up, that circle gets smaller. Eventually, you may be the person everyone else comes to for answers. Your team needs you. Your boss needs results from you. Your clients need answers from you. The business needs decisions from you. But when you’re the one who needs to stop and say, “I don’t know. I need to think this through,” where do you go? That is the part nobody talks about enough.

Leadership can become incredibly lonely. Not because there aren't people around you, but because there are fewer people you can actually be honest with. You can't take every problem to your team. You can't always take it to your boss. You may not feel comfortable taking it to a peer. And sometimes you don't even realize how much you're carrying because you've gotten so used to carrying it.

Then add everything happening right now. Businesses are being pushed to move faster. Expectations are higher. Technology is changing constantly. AI is creating opportunity, uncertainty, and a whole new set of questions leaders are expected to answer. People are worried about their jobs. Companies are worried about productivity. Leaders are trying to figure out what to change, what to protect, what to invest in, and what not to screw up. That's a lot to carry while still being expected to walk into the room like you've got everything under control.

And here's the uncomfortable truth: more responsibility should mean more support, not less.

But support isn't another inspirational quote, another leadership seminar, or somebody telling you to be more resilient. Sometimes support is having a place where you can take the problem apart without having to defend yourself. Someone who can ask the questions you aren't asking. Someone who can look at the situation without being caught up in the politics. Someone who can help you separate the actual business problem from all the noise surrounding it.

Sometimes you don't need someone to give you the answer. You need someone to help you see the answer more clearly.

That's where I think there is a real gap. We spend enormous amounts of time talking about how to develop employees, retain talent, improve culture, and build better leaders. But we don't spend nearly enough time talking about what happens when the people carrying the responsibility need support themselves.

Because leaders are people too. They get overwhelmed. They get frustrated. They get stuck. They make mistakes. They question decisions. They need perspective. And they need somewhere to work through the hard stuff before it becomes a bigger problem.

So maybe the question isn't whether a leader can handle the pressure. Maybe we've been asking the wrong question. What support do they have while they're handling it?

Because nobody should have to wait until they're completely burned out, completely stuck, or ready to walk away before someone finally asks,

“How are you doing, and what do you need?” What happened to support?